


לַחֲזוֹר בִּתְשׁוּבָה

by blasphemyincarnate



Series: מה אנחנו ומה היינו [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (in memory only) - Freeform, (like three seconds), 5.19 Coda - Freeform, Angels, Archangel Blades - Freeform, Archangels, Damaged wings, Dysfunctional Family, Family Issues, Gabriel Lives, Gen, Hammer of the Gods coda, Internal Monologue, Stabbing, Temporary Character Death, Wings, fem!Gabriel, like god lucifer don't u take care of them, sibling relationships, very unkempt wings - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 05:25:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15857103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blasphemyincarnate/pseuds/blasphemyincarnate
Summary: לַחֲזוֹר בִּתְשׁוּבָה - to repent





	לַחֲזוֹר בִּתְשׁוּבָה

Appearances are important.

Lucifer knows this.

No matter what he thinks, no matter that it is  _Gabriel_ in front of him with an archangel blade, no matter that it is his little brother who he loves (too damn much) in front of him with an archangel blade (prepared to kill him and  _Father_ isn't that a terrifying thought?), appearances matter.

Enough that Lucifer sneers and hopes he still knows his little brother well enough to cut deep (even though he doesn't because it's been  _millennia_ and the last time he saw Gabriel was when Raphael came to help _her_ off the field because he had damaged her wings and everyone knew she would never fly as fast as she did again, even if she still was the quickest.)

"Over a girl. Gabriel, really? I mean, I knew you were slumming, but..." he grimaces and pretends it's from the distaste. "I hope you didn't catch anything."

"Lucifer," and Lucifer stiffens because when had he become  _Lucifer_ even in Gabriel's eyes? Hêlêl, he had always been  _Hêlêl_ to him. It hurt.

"You're my brother, and I love you."

He goes on to say something else but  _Hêlêl_ doesn't hear it because really, after all this time? Did he still truly love him?

No-

It was a trick.

Had to be.

No one could love the Devil himself.

"Wait, what did you just say to me?"

(It's a genuine question but he phrases it as an angry one because it was almost definitely an insult)

"Look at yourself! Boohoo, Daddy was mean to me so I'm going to smash up all his toys!" And doesn't that hurt?

( _Even if it's true?_ someone that sounds suspiciously like Azrael in his mind asks and Azrael can fuck off because Azrael gave himself up to Death and doesn't deserve a thing from Lucifer-)

"Watch your tone," Lucifer says softly, dangerously. Like he's reprimanding Gabriel when  _she_ got too close to finding out what he'd been doing again.

"Play the victim all you want."  _I am the victim._ "But you and me? We know the truth."  _What truth? The truth that He created us to serve Him then had us use these pathetic humans as a replacement for Him?_ "Dad loved you best."  _He did._ "More than Michael, more than me."  _Is that bitterness, little brother? Were you jealous?_ "Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn't handle it."  _THEY AREN'T HIS CHILDREN THEYNEVERWILLBE-_ "So this is all just one big temper tantrum."

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. It doesn't matter.

It stopped mattering millennia ago when Father decided He couldn't even  _listen_ to Lucifer talk badly about his latest creation, when He decided Lucifer's opinion wasn't worth anything anymore, when he became so enamored with the  _humans_ He cast down His Visionary-

A vision isn't worth anything in the darkest pits of Hell. Who dreams, down there?

(Not him.)

"Time to grow up."

-

They talk more after that. More sniping, more angry words, more bitter comments left unsaid millennia ago but  _there's nothing stopping them now-_

Gabriel says he's loyal to the humans and Lucifer can't fathom why and Gabriel's never been good at explaining, but  _Christ_ , he's just gotten worse at it over the centuries.

It's not too long before Lucifer he realizes he can't convince Gabriel to walk away and he wants to  _scream_ because  _this is never how it was supposed to end he was never supposed to have to kill Gabriel just attacking her wings had ripped a hole in him no no no he can't kill Gabriel-_

"Brother, don't make me do this."  _Please please please Gabriel don't make me do it I can't hurt you please-_

Maybe Gabriel _does_ hear him or maybe Gabriel just knows him well enough to know what he's thinking but Lucifer can see the sad smile he keeps inside of the vessel. 

"No one makes us do anything."

Lucifer already knows the one in front of him is a fake but when he spins to kill the one behind him, he sees that one is a fake too.

Thank Father.

(He still cries when he sees the burnt wings)

(He still cries when the True Voice's whisper floats through the hotel and someone begs,  _Hêlêl, repent, please_ , and he cries even more because how could he repent? How could he ask forgiveness when he was the one who should be offering it?)

How could he repent if he was willing to kill his own little brother? He deserves a second chance for a lot of things but  _this isn't one of them_ -

When he disappears from the hotel, once-brilliant wings grey and yellow-ish from eons in hell, the caress of golden wings just misses him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> idk man the first one was better


End file.
